I mean come on, could he look anymore like the love child of Reba McIntyre and Laura Bush? He’s all woman…
Archive for the ‘gossip’ Category
Is Adrian Grenier (quasi celeb douche from Entourage) the secret Love Child of John Stamos and 1980s Boglin?
in other words:
After hearing a gossip piece on how Joe Francis is upset that Hugh Heffner did not come to his defense (as he claimed Hugh went through ‘similar’ persecution for similar things…um..ok…) I got that rage bubble again. And as his face keeps showing itself like a pesky cockroach in the kitchen, the bubble grows and grows. I don’t enjoy feeling like I have to punch someone…so I’ll vent here instead in a three-pronged prayer to any pagan goddess with a black cat and cauldron:
A) I hope his jailmates forced him to sign ‘waivers’ while he was fucked on H
B) I hope his ass is perpetually bleeding and oozing shit from all the ‘consensual’ prison sex
C) I hope his Acromegaly progresses to the point where his tongue swells up big enough to feel like a giant dick is perpetually poking his gag reflex.*
This news is old but forgotten. I keep seeing ads for Bernstein’s diet clinics on TV and wonder what special forces it took to acquit him of attempted murder charges when all of the jewellry and Rolex watches were stashed in his home… I also wonder what kind of powerhouse lawyer he employed to get the Toronto Star to eventually take Bernstein’s name out of subsequent stories on the murder plot that you can read below…could it have been Edward Greenspan? How could he afford him? And what is up with the kidnapping of him and his wife where they were found stuffed in the trunk of a Mercedes-Benz several years later? I found these articles in the Star’s online archives. Googling Bernstein’s name gets you nothing more than “”Criminal Background checks”, so in all its glory, I’m posting some of the weird and criminal history behind Toronto’s very own Doctor Death. Enjoy the headline timeline (Only main articles published in full).
Toronto doctor charged in contract murder plot:[FIN Edition]
John Duncanson Toronto Star. Toronto Star Toronto, Ont.:Jul 21, 1992. p. A1
She sees the world through the eyes of a child. Not since Picasso has the art world seen such genius. The way she disregards the rules of perspective, her insistence on labeling everything in the composition and adding prose alongside the visuals, the haphazard use of negative space…’Tis true talent to render her traumatic experience with such innocence and naivité.
Below are some of her lesser-known masterpieces:
I used to have a big crush on Jude Law, but his dalliances with bubble-heads like Sienna Miller crushed any butterflies that dared to dance in my stomach when Jude was on the screen. Not sure whether this chick’s a bubble-head too, but she’s ‘out there’ enough to bring back some of the mysterious hotness Jude lost from being addicted to Barbie-blondes. Reminds me of the wonder and amazement I felt when I saw Anthony Kiedis’ girlfriend: pretty but unprocessed, “funky” without hollywood-trendy. My mind still conjures Pamela “Hep-Cat” Anderson and Heather Locklear when I think of Rockstar girlfriends. I know. I’m stuck in 1993.
Dagon by Jeff Remmer
This is all gossip and rumours, and I swore I’d never contribute to the Paris publicity machine, but I can’t help myself today. It’s the heat. So here’s a little sump’n to make those grey skies cheer up. The indifference in the cop’s eyes (passenger seat) is what really makes it.
Oh, and Nicole Richie looks like a busted Kevin McDonald. Damn! Kevin McDonald should have played her roles in the Simple Life when the two brats were feuding. No offense meant to Kevin McDonald.
OK. Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker and the entire cougar-quotient of middle-aged straight women who feel they’ve ‘paid their dues’ (what, living?) and ‘deserve it’, whatever ‘it’ means, make me want to swallow an e-Coli-infested mace. Their unabashed and frivolous consumption of useless products IS NOT SOPHISTICATION, people! Anyway, Pony Parker proves she is a ditz through and through with the slogan for her new, ugly, useless line, Bitten: Fashion is not a luxury.
Wow. What a statement. Really makes me think…
Here’s SJP for The GAP:
Here’s the original without the photoshopping:
And here she is on an evening out with her friends:
So, are the clothes made of apples and carrots and do they have teef marks in ‘em?
Bob Barker’s stint as host for the daytime, gameshow version of the Playboy Mansion is over. 35 years of desperate female (and sometimes male) contestants trying to make out with him, fellate his microphone, get the numbers of his Beauties and rub themselves with cash or tacky furniture inspired me, turned me on to the world of 70s porn-palaces without once explicitly referencing them. You know what the set was used for after the sun went down, don’t you?
What do you think Barker’s done with that mic?