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Archive for August, 2007

After being inspired by this portrait of Dubya, I thought I would do a literal rendition of how I think Owen Wilson’s face is basically having sex with itself. Cheer up, Owen; you’re uniquely handsome and, after all, love is staring you in the face.
**Disclaimer! These ‘naughty bits’ are PROSTHETICS!**

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Bravo to Caitlin Upton for carrying on a tradition of dumb blonde jokes. Her bio says she’s the President of Skills (probably the same skills Tara Connor had..?); you gotta be smart for that, rite? Perhaps she is a scholar in coding and encryption because I couldn’t understand a word she said. She’ll make the U.S. Military proud one day..

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Maybe it’s the eyebrows, maybe it’s the busted plastic surgery on the schnoz and the bad collagen but I can’t shake the feeling that these two were either separated at birth or in fact are one and the same but different wigs…

p.s. please excuse very bad photoshopping today. i’ve got sunstroke.

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Canadians are Naïve, Naïve, Naïve!”
Disclaimer: Part of me believes we, as a people, masochistically enjoy watching our governments slip into the nightmarish, Orwellian clichés just so we can say, “See? Government BAD! Government EVIL!” and feel totally vindicated for fudging our taxes; this only demonstrates how naïve we are here in Canada when it comes to fascism:

Undercover Cops Dressed as Protesters Attempt To Incite Riot
Wednesday August 22, 2007

It only takes one successful Beer Hall Putsch to slip into fascism…Canada needs to wake up and see that what appears to be no more than a slightly creepy ol’ boys’ club at the top of the government is really a fascist machine, slowly dismantling the rights that those before us fought constantly for and that we take for granted…

(more…)

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The system will keep finding ways to keep women too distracted and preoccupied with the way they look to amount to much more than an overly-decorated Easter Egg with a short shelf-life: dyed, stenciled, painted, put in a basket for all to see, and then cracked open and tossed out with the scraps, never getting the chance to grow past the yolkie chick stage into a mature hen:

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So, considering the “Naughty” category of “pubic hair art” has been flooded by the market by companies like Nads, I’ve come up with a few more suggestions that I think fulfill the under-represented “Nice” category:

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“SEXY” is NOT A RIGHT….


MILF CULTURE MUST DIE.

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Still choosing the greater of two evils, Morrissey announces his Fall Tour Dates. Implicit in the itinerary is his preference for a country whose government has instigated war, okayed torture, rape, civilian deaths, of tens of thousands of Iraqis – women, children and men – over one that has said ‘no’ to that war but who still sanctions the clubbing of young seals for pelts that are exported to countries like Norway, Denmark, Germany, China, and South Korea.

Then again, we could only provide him with a fraction of ticket sales that the U.S. could…

Oh, and 10 dates in LA?

Morrissey – 2007 Tour Dates
September 20 TIJUANA, MEXICO : El Foro
September 21 LAS VEGAS, NV : The Pearl
September 23 SAN FRANCISCO, CA : Fillmore
September 24 SAN FRANCISCO, CA : Fillmore
September 26 SAN FRANCISCO, CA : Fillmore
September 27 SAN FRANCISCO, CA : Fillmore
September 29 SANTA BARBARA, CA : County Bowl
October 1 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 2 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 4 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 5 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 6 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 8 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 9 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 11 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 12 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 13 LOS ANGELES, CA : Palladium
October 15 SALT LAKE CITY, UT : Thanksgiving Point
October 17 WAUKEGAN, IL : Genesee Theatre
October 19 ROYAL OAK, MI : Royal Oak Music Theatre
October 20 MERRILLVILLE, IN : Star Plaza
October 22 NEW YORK, NY : Hammerstein Ballroom
October 23 NEW YORK, NY : Hammerstein Ballroom
October 26 NEW YORK, NY : Hammerstein Ballroom
October 27 NEW YORK, NY : Hammerstein Ballroom
October 28 NEW YORK, NY : Hammerstein Ballroom
October 30 BOSTON, MA : Orpheum
October 31 BALTIMORE, MD : Rams Head
November 2 WASHINGTON, DC : Constitution Hall

* Kristeen Young supports on all dates

Still I’ll beg again:

MORRISSEY:
Come to CANADA,
PLEEEEEEEASE?

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Is Adrian Grenier (quasi celeb douche from Entourage) the secret Love Child of John Stamos and 1980s Boglin?

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+

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EQUALS

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in other words:

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